Monthly Archives: October 2009

a day my heart needed

We had a wonderful day! After a couple of really hard days, it was just what I needed. Early this morning it looked like today would be like the past two- raining and cold. But lo and behold the sun came out! Oh, I was so excited. (I really need the sun. I get headaches without it. Seriously.) Everyone got dressed, and we walked to one of the parks near us. It was so wonderful to get out and walk and spend time with Karston and Kyrie. We had races on the soccer field, played on the playground, walked on the trail, and collected leaves. I purposefully didn’t take my camera so that I could soak up every moment of it. I did however take a picture of our loot when we got home.

fall leaves

Beautiful fall leaves. They were intended for a couple of art projects but were dumped out by a couple of  little people so I guess we’ll be leaf collecting again soon. The trees are really so pretty here. The colors are much richer than they are in Texas. It’s fun to have a real fall. I still think summer is my favorite, but fall sure is making it up the list.

When we returned home, we had some lunch and then spent the rest of the day outside. There weren’t even naps. Karston and Kyrie played in their favorite dirt spot.
Karston and Kyrie

 

I did some drawing, painting, and sewing. It was so good for my soul. And Kanon, well, he just looked cute all day in his green plaid pants.

Kanon

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so out of it

I couldn’t even finish the last post! ….actually I got distracted taking care of more business, and it must have gotten “published” by one of my sweet children. 

We had a wonderful night tonight. My husband took great care of me, and I am feeling very loved and refreshed. I’m feeling the comfort of Christ- it is so very full. Thank you to everyone that is praying for us. We need and love all your prayers.

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The Truth

is that this is hard. I don’t really know what to think. Most of the time I can’t really think at all. From the night of the ER I have been overloaded with information and “it could be this” and “that would mean this” and crazy long instructions have been given to me. I really cannot even look in the refrigerator and process what is in there and what that means I need to put on my list. I feel numb- like I’m not really feeling what’s going on. I feel calm at moments. Thankful a lot of moments. And overwhelmed at others. I feel like I am holding it together really well; and I feel as though I am on the verge of falling apart- all at the same time. I’ve gotten teary eyed a few times but didn’t cry until yesterday- and really I only had a few tears then.  The only time I remember ever getting a physically nervous feeling was when I was driving Kanon to the ER, and I was praying, “Please Lord 5 1/2 weeks wasn’t long enough with him. We want him longer.” Which is funny because at that point I really didn’t think it was as bad as it ended up being. I definitely did not foresee all these other things we found. He seems completely normal to me. Cooing, following our movements and voices, kicking, and smiling- he is the most smiley baby ever! I love it. I really just want to lay in bed. Wake up. And find out this was all a dream. A bad one. But I keep telling myself- This is for my good. It is for His glory. He will never leave us or forsake us. We will come through this and be better, more like Him. We will learn things about our God. We will learn things about ourselves. We will make it through.

 

It is a combination of everything that is causing all these thoughts/emotions. Multiple Dr’s appts., finances dealing with these appts, lost paperwork, having to get a list of doctors on one page, not having a car that fits us all, Mark getting caught up on school and figuring out when to return to work….lots and

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home

We are so glad to be home. We were discharged last night and very eagerly headed home where we belong. I’ll try to give the best update possible….there have been so many pokes, sticks, swabs, x-rays and other things it is hard to remember everything. I also feel this is just the beginning for us. It turned out Kanon had/has viral meningitis which is the one you want to have if you have to have it. That does mean that the IV that they stuck into his tiny vein and the 36 hours of antibiotics were for nothing. (that was just in case it turned out to be bacterial) So we were sent home to finish fighting the virus at home. While we were there the doctors were a little concerned about his skull- 1. his soft spot is really small and 2. the overall shape of it…..had them concerned that the bones are fusing together too quickly which would not allow the brain to grow. The initial x-rays showed nothing has fused together yet. We will be scheduling a CT scan to further investigate this issue. We also retested his hearing while we were there. He had failed his left ear hearing screening at birth plus bacterial meningitis can cause hearing loss (we hadn’t found out it was viral at the time). After 3 1/2 hours of hearing tests it was confirmed that he does have permanent hearing loss in his left ear. It is not correctable by surgery or medication. A hearing aid is our only option; so we will be making hearing aid fitting appts, ENT (ear nose and throat) Dr appts, and follow up audiology appts. This will consist of more tests, labs, and another CT scan. And then, because of these two things and the fact that he has a heart murmur, we are to meet with a genetics doctor to see if something genetic is going on or if all these things are related and if we should be looking for something else. So that is why I say I feel this is just the beginning. I feel overwhelmed with the sheer number of doctor appointments. It’s been a whirlwind of activity and emotion so I’m not really feeling much right now….just a must do this, need to do that mentality.  But we are resting in Christ. Our church is bringing us meals. Our church in Texas sent us a sweet care package. My sister-in-law is flying up tonight to stay for the weekend. We are being taken care of. We take comfort that it is for our good and for His glory.

 

I still, at times,  just want to sew, paint, do laundry, decorate, bake, do the dishes, run around with my kids like none of this is happening. I will still do those things in between the doctors appointments. I have to. After a short 18 hours into my hospital stay I was really wondering how Ashley’s mom did it. I have been praying for her since I was pregnant with Karston. I didn’t know how she did it before, and I really don’t now.

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a quick note

Our tiniest love, Kanon, is in the hospital with meningitis. Not sure if it is bacterial or viral yet. We should know that tomorrow. He has been there since Sunday night. I think he is looking/acting good, but we would appreciate any prayers you would say for our family. I’ll update when I can; this is my first time home since he was admitted. There is a possibility we could come home tomorrow depending on test results. I’ll update when I can.

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{pink week} our wooden family

I think this one is my favorite. Here is what these little wooden people looked like before. And here is what they look like painted as our family.

woodenfamily

 

familyback

 

and a special message on the bottoms.

 

familybottoms

 

I had so much fun painting these. I was very focused on being happy with how they turned out instead of repainting them 500 times each. And I really do like them. It is usually a struggle for me to stay simple and not become very detailed in my paintings…and drawings….and a lot of other things. Karston’s shorts are based off his favorite pair in real life that I made out of Mark’s old shirt. The crown was originally on the front of the shirt but is now a back pocket. All the other clothes are just similar to clothes that we each wear. I think I need to order and paint another set for Karston- they BOTH love them.

 

* I ordered the unpainted wooden dolls from etsy shop Goose Grease Undone which put together a custom listing to match our family.

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{pink week} the cake

Kyrie requested a “pink dirl” cake (she can’t say the “k” or “g” sound) for her birthday. I immediately thought of the barbie cakes where her dress is the skirt and this momma was so excited. I went to one of the bakeries down the street from us to see if they make them. They did. They even had one waiting to be picked up that I got to look at. They did a good job, and I was going to order one so that would be one less thing for me to do. However, when I went home I started to get really sad that I would not be making it. It wouldn’t mean as much. And that would be my first birthday cake not to make. So I decided to make it. I am no baker (that is my sister). And a few times during the process I wondered if she would get her girl cake. The plans changed along the way. Not as many dress designs got put on. But in the end Kyrie had her homemade pink girl cake. She loved it. And I was so happy I made it. 

barbiecake1

 

barbiecakeupper

 

kyriewithcake

 

kyeatingcake

It was also delicious!

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